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Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan

Romance

Before I Let Go

by Kennedy Ryan

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Quick take

All the right ingredients are there, but can this divorced couple find a way to make their romantic recipe work again?

Good to know

  • Illustrated icon, Emotional

    Emotional

  • Illustrated icon, 400

    400+ pages

  • Illustrated icon, Marriage_Issues

    Marriage issues

  • Illustrated icon, Foodie

    Foodie

Synopsis

Their love was supposed to last forever. But when life delivered blow after devastating blow, Yasmen and Josiah Wade found that love alone couldn’t solve or save everything.

It couldn’t save their marriage.

Yasmen wasn’t prepared for how her life fell apart, but she’s finally starting to find joy again. She and Josiah have found a new rhythm, co-parenting their two kids and running a thriving business together. Yet like magnets, they’re always drawn back to each other, and now they’re beginning to wonder if they’re truly ready to let go of everything they once had.

Soon, one stolen kiss leads to another . . . and then more. It’s hot. It’s illicit. It’s all good—until old wounds reopen. Is it too late for them to find forever? Or could they even be better, the second time around?

Free sample

Get an early look from the first pages of Before I Let Go.

Before I Let Go

THE BEGINNING

JOSIAH

Do people remember the exact moment they fall in love?

I do. Yasmen brought me homemade chicken noodle soup when I was so sick it hurt to blink. Tasted like day-old dishwater. Not sure how you mess up chicken noodle soup, but my girl managed it. She watched me expectantly with those long-lashed doe eyes. God, I’ll never forget her expression when I spat that soup out, but it was so bad and I was too sick to even play it off.

For a second, Yasmen looked distressed, but then, despite feeling like someone dragged me over hot coals and needles, I laughed. Then she laughed and I wondered if this—finding someone you can laugh with when everything hurts—was the stuff happily ever afters were made of. Not the sugarcoated kisses and hot-air balloon rides and romantic walks under a full moon. My whole body throbbed with whatever plague infected me, but that day Yasmen made me happy. In the midst of a raging flu, she made me laugh.

And I knew.

I tipped over from wildly attracted and more-than-slightly pussy-whipped into the real thing. Into love. That moment is soldered into my memory. It’s one I’ll never forget.

And here, just months later, so is this one.

“What do you think?” Yasmen looks up from something she’s working on at the card table in the middle of the living/dining/kitchen zone of my dilapidated one-bedroom apartment, complete with impoverished student decor.

“Think about what?” I ask, sitting down in the raggedy chair across from her.

“Grits.”

“Baby, please don’t make grits again. I’m still recovering from the last time you tried.”

She glares at me without heat, the corners of her mouth fighting a grin. “Boy, not cook grits. Have you even been listening? I said what if you name your restaurant Grits?”

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Why I love it

I teared up (and laughed, and sighed, and cheered) many, many, many times while reading Kennedy Ryan’s new masterpiece, Before I Let Go. There is a specific scene, though, that I’ll carry in my heart forever: Yasmen—mother, ex-wife, restaurant owner, all-around superwoman, severely depressed person in recovery—is asked by her therapist to set a date to forgive herself for the choices she made in the past. After thinking about it long and hard, she says: “Today. Write down today.”

If you have any sort of experience with depression, the adept way Kennedy Ryan writes about mental health will doubtlessly resonate with you. Her prose is lyrical, full of gut punches and breathtaking images, perfect to convey the struggles of grief, self-doubt, and loneliness. But I don’t want people to get the wrong idea, because Before I Let Go is not a sad book. On the contrary, it’s fundamentally a story of hope and healing. At its center are Yasmen and Josiah: two soulmates who are deeply in love, have built a life together, and manage to find their way back to that life following a tragedy. It is a tearjerker, but also sexy, funny, witty, and swoony. It celebrates the importance of family ties, resilience, and communication. Before I Let Go is, at heart, a romance—and a perfect one at that.

It takes an immensely talented kind of writer to create a piece of work that’s raw and gritty, but also dreamy and romantic. This book is the real deal, and Kennedy Ryan is one of the best voices of this generation.

Member ratings (4,706)

400+ pages
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Not So Pure and Simple
Red, White & Royal Blue
Long Bright River
When the Stars Lead to You
Ninth House
The Water Dancer
The Fountains of Silence
The Goldfinch
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Permanent Record
This Tender Land
The Reckless Oath We Made
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World
The Gifted School
Free Food for Millionaires
Ask Again, Yes
All the Light We Cannot See
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Night Music
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400+ pages
View all
The Thirteenth Child
Homeseeking
Most Wonderful
The Courting of Bristol Keats
Pictures of You
PS: I Hate You
The Road of Bones
Bloodguard
Intermezzo
The Dagger and the Flame
The Wild Huntress
The Crimson Crown
Here One Moment
Phantasma
The Pairing
All the Colors of the Dark
The God of the Woods
Same As It Ever Was
The Demon of Unrest
Five Broken Blades
Real Americans
The Reappearance of Rachel Price
Table for Two
The Familiar
A Short Walk Through a Wide World
Just for the Summer
The Wives
A Fate Inked in Blood
The Disappearance of Astrid Bricard
The Fox Wife
The Mayor of Maxwell Street
Ready or Not
Heartless Hunter
The Women
Family Family
Ruthless Vows
Gwen & Art Are Not in Love
The Frozen River
The Future
What We Kept to Ourselves
Wellness
The Fragile Threads of Power
You, Again
The Bookbinder
Happiness Falls
Shark Heart
Love, Theoretically
The Only One Left
The First Ladies
Ink Blood Sister Scribe
Warrior Girl Unearthed
The True Love Experiment
Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?
Yours Truly
Hello Beautiful
I Have Some Questions for You
Clytemnestra
The Last Russian Doll
Someone Else’s Shoes
The Shards
Hell Bent
Age of Vice
A Wilderness of Stars
Babel
The Circus Train
Before I Let Go
Bloodmarked
The Last Party
Foul Lady Fortune
Sign Here
Thistlefoot
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow
The Attic Child
Bronze Drum
The It Girl
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle
The Change
Part of Your World
Lessons in Chemistry
The Good Left Undone
Kaikeyi
True Biz
Pieces of Her
Booth
Peach Blossom Spring
A River Enchanted
Black Cake
Will
Still Life
The Keeper of Night
The Book of Magic
The Lincoln Highway
Apples Never Fall
In Every Mirror She's Black
Damnation Spring
One Last Stop
Half Sick of Shadows
The Girl with Stars in Her Eyes
What Comes After
In a Book Club Far Away
The Four Winds
Black Buck
The City We Became
The Prophets
The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
A Rogue of One's Own
Notes on a Silencing
Friends and Strangers
Evicted
The End of October
The Book of Longings
The Great Believers
Yes No Maybe So
Anna K
Not So Pure and Simple
Red, White & Royal Blue
Long Bright River
When the Stars Lead to You
Ninth House
The Water Dancer
The Fountains of Silence
The Goldfinch
Frankly in Love
Permanent Record
This Tender Land
The Reckless Oath We Made
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World
The Gifted School
Free Food for Millionaires
Ask Again, Yes
All the Light We Cannot See
Sky Without Stars
Night Music
Small Fry
One Day in December
Nine Perfect Strangers
The Clockmaker's Daughter
The Great Alone
The Heart’s Invisible Furies
The Ministry of Utmost Happiness
A Million Junes
The Nightingale
Behold the Dreamers
A Gentleman in Moscow
The Secret History
Dead Wake
Salt to the Sea
& Sons
Palace of Treason