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Half Sick of Shadows by Laura Sebastian

Fantasy

Half Sick of Shadows

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This is an early release that's only available to our members—the rest of the world has to wait to read it.

by Laura Sebastian

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Quick take

An epic, feminist retelling of Arthurian legend. Sometimes you need a crystal ball to crack a glass ceiling.

Good to know

  • Illustrated icon, 400

    400+ pages

  • Illustrated icon, Feminist

    Feminist

  • Illustrated icon, Based_on_a_Classic

    Based on a classic

  • Illustrated icon, Quest

    Quest

Synopsis

Everyone knows the legend. Of Arthur, destined to be a king. Of the beautiful Guinevere, who will betray him with his most loyal knight, Lancelot. Of the bitter sorceress, Morgana, who will turn against them all. But Elaine alone carries the burden of knowing what is to come—for Elaine of Shalott is cursed to see the future.

On the mystical isle of Avalon, Elaine runs free and learns of the ancient prophecies surrounding her and her friends—countless possibilities, almost all of them tragic.

When their future comes to claim them, Elaine, Guinevere, Lancelot, and Morgana accompany Arthur to take his throne in stifling Camelot, where magic is outlawed, the rules of society chain them, and enemies are everywhere. Yet the most dangerous threats may come from within their own circle.

As visions are fulfilled and an inevitable fate closes in, Elaine must decide how far she will go to change fate—and what she is willing to sacrifice along the way.

Content warning

This book contains mentions of suicide ideation.

Free sample

Get an early look from the first pages of Half Sick of Shadows.

Half Sick of Shadows

1

I will die drowning; it has always been known. This was my first vision, long before I knew it for what it was, and I’ve had it so many times now that I know each instant by heart. Where most visions are ephemeral things, shifting and changing in different lights and at different angles, this one is always so solid that it leaves its bruises on my mind and soul long after it ends.

The water will be cold against my skin. It will rush around me like a storm, tearing my hair in different directions until it clouds my vision. I won’t be able to see a thing. I will want to kick up to the surface, to breathe the air I know is only a few meters away, but I will stay frozen and sink lower and lower in my whirlpool until my feet finally touch soft sand. My eyes will be closed, and everything around me will be darkness.

My lungs will burn, burn, burn until I fear they are going to burst. The surface will be so close, I could reach it if I just kick up . . . but I won’t. I won’t want to.

In a week or a year or a decade, I will die drowning. When I do, it will be a choice.

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Why I love it

When I was a tween, I went through a brief but intense period of watching every King Arthur adaptation I could find. (It’s a long story.) And while I’m no expert, I like to think all those hours gave me a pretty good grasp of Arthurian legend. Yet when I saw that Laura Sebastian had written a feminist retelling starring Elaine, my first thought was, Awesome!, and my second thought was, Who on earth is Elaine...?

In my defense, it’s not that surprising I’d forgotten who she was; as legend has it, Elaine really gets the short end of the stick. But in Half Sick of Shadows, Elaine is much more than a lovesick woman locked in a tower—instead, she’s a powerful prophetess. As a girl, Elaine practices magic on Avalon island, bonding with Guinevere, Morgana, Lancelot, and Arthur. But as her visions develop, she is haunted by possible futures filled with betrayal and death. When the friends journey to Camelot on a quest to make Arthur king, Elaine wrestles with her foreknowledge, wondering how much she must sacrifice to fulfill her destiny.

Half Sick of Shadows has all the touchstones of great Arthurian stories: the conflict between duty and desire, the hope for a better future, the pull of forbidden love. But it also breathes fresh life into the legend’s women: free-spirited Guinevere, strong-willed Morgana, savvy Elaine. Through Elaine’s eyes we toggle between past, present, and numerous possible futures—and though you might think you know how it all ends, it will almost certainly surprise you. One thing’s for sure: After finishing this lyrical, emotional rollercoaster of a book, I will never again forget Elaine.

Member ratings (14,074)

400+ pages
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Peach Blossom Spring
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The Keeper of Night
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Apples Never Fall
In Every Mirror She's Black
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Half Sick of Shadows
The Girl with Stars in Her Eyes
What Comes After
In a Book Club Far Away
The Four Winds
Black Buck
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The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
A Rogue of One's Own
Notes on a Silencing
Friends and Strangers
Evicted
The End of October
The Book of Longings
The Great Believers
Yes No Maybe So
Anna K
Not So Pure and Simple
Red, White & Royal Blue
Long Bright River
When the Stars Lead to You
Ninth House
The Water Dancer
The Fountains of Silence
The Goldfinch
Frankly in Love
Permanent Record
This Tender Land
The Reckless Oath We Made
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World
The Gifted School
Free Food for Millionaires
Ask Again, Yes
All the Light We Cannot See
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Night Music
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400+ pages
View all
The Thirteenth Child
Homeseeking
Most Wonderful
The Courting of Bristol Keats
Pictures of You
PS: I Hate You
The Road of Bones
Bloodguard
Intermezzo
The Dagger and the Flame
The Wild Huntress
The Crimson Crown
Here One Moment
Phantasma
The Pairing
All the Colors of the Dark
The God of the Woods
Same As It Ever Was
The Demon of Unrest
Five Broken Blades
Real Americans
The Reappearance of Rachel Price
Table for Two
The Familiar
A Short Walk Through a Wide World
Just for the Summer
The Wives
A Fate Inked in Blood
The Disappearance of Astrid Bricard
The Fox Wife
The Mayor of Maxwell Street
Ready or Not
Heartless Hunter
The Women
Family Family
Ruthless Vows
Gwen & Art Are Not in Love
The Frozen River
The Future
What We Kept to Ourselves
Wellness
The Fragile Threads of Power
You, Again
The Bookbinder
Happiness Falls
Shark Heart
Love, Theoretically
The Only One Left
The First Ladies
Ink Blood Sister Scribe
Warrior Girl Unearthed
The True Love Experiment
Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?
Yours Truly
Hello Beautiful
I Have Some Questions for You
Clytemnestra
The Last Russian Doll
Someone Else’s Shoes
The Shards
Hell Bent
Age of Vice
A Wilderness of Stars
Babel
The Circus Train
Before I Let Go
Bloodmarked
The Last Party
Foul Lady Fortune
Sign Here
Thistlefoot
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow
The Attic Child
Bronze Drum
The It Girl
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle
The Change
Part of Your World
Lessons in Chemistry
The Good Left Undone
Kaikeyi
True Biz
Pieces of Her
Booth
Peach Blossom Spring
A River Enchanted
Black Cake
Will
Still Life
The Keeper of Night
The Book of Magic
The Lincoln Highway
Apples Never Fall
In Every Mirror She's Black
Damnation Spring
One Last Stop
Half Sick of Shadows
The Girl with Stars in Her Eyes
What Comes After
In a Book Club Far Away
The Four Winds
Black Buck
The City We Became
The Prophets
The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
A Rogue of One's Own
Notes on a Silencing
Friends and Strangers
Evicted
The End of October
The Book of Longings
The Great Believers
Yes No Maybe So
Anna K
Not So Pure and Simple
Red, White & Royal Blue
Long Bright River
When the Stars Lead to You
Ninth House
The Water Dancer
The Fountains of Silence
The Goldfinch
Frankly in Love
Permanent Record
This Tender Land
The Reckless Oath We Made
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World
The Gifted School
Free Food for Millionaires
Ask Again, Yes
All the Light We Cannot See
Sky Without Stars
Night Music
Small Fry
One Day in December
Nine Perfect Strangers
The Clockmaker's Daughter
The Great Alone
The Heart’s Invisible Furies
The Ministry of Utmost Happiness
A Million Junes
The Nightingale
Behold the Dreamers
A Gentleman in Moscow
The Secret History
Dead Wake
Salt to the Sea
& Sons
Palace of Treason