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Liquid by Mariam Rahmani

Literary fiction

Liquid

Debut

by Mariam Rahmani

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Quick take

In this provocative, cerebral debut, a witty academic fed up with the adjunct lifestyle embarks on a plan to marry rich.

Highbrow

Good to know

  • Illustrated icon, LGBTQ_themes

    LGBTQ+ themes

  • Illustrated icon, Cerebral

    Cerebral

  • Illustrated icon, Salacious

    Salacious

  • Illustrated icon, Academic

    Academic

Synopsis

The unnamed Iranian-Indian American narrator of Liquid has always believed herself to be the smartest person in the room. And from an early age, she and her best friend—a poet-turned-marketer named Adam—have turned their noses up at other peoples’ riches. But two years after earning a PhD from UCLA, the narrator is no closer to the middle-class comfort promised to her by the prestige of her fancy, scholarship-funded education and the successes of her immigrant parents. Jokingly, Adam suggests she just “marry rich.”

But our protagonist, whose PhD thesis compared Eastern and Western views of marriage in film and literature, takes the idea seriously. She makes a spreadsheet and outlines a goal: 100 dates with people of all genders and a marriage proposal in hand by the official start of the fall semester. What follows is a whirlwind summer packed with dating: martinis sans vermouth with the lazy scion of an Eastside construction empire; board games with a butch producer who owns a house in the hills and a newly dented Porsche; a Venmo request from a “socialist” trust fund babe; and an evening spent dodging the halitosis of a maxillofacial surgeon from Orange County.

Only a tragedy in Tehran and an overdue familial reckoning can alter the narrator’s increasingly manic trajectory and force her to confront the contradictions of her life in Los Angeles. And as doubts begin to creep in about her marriage project, it suddenly seems possible that the eligible prospect she’s been looking for has been beneath her nose the entire time.

Free sample

Get an early look from the first pages of Liquid.

Liquid

PROLOGUE

Friday, June 16, 2017

The night I was awarded my doctorate, I had sex with a stranger on the beach. It was easy to get there, to that point of false intimacy. I’d seen the script.

Pick the most attractive person at the bar. See that they’re unattached.

In this case, a twenty-something cisman crooked over his phone, bench-press-produced chest curling like paper.

Order a drink without consulting the menu.

At a civilized bar like this, a whiskey sour—an egg-white sour requires a kind of quotidian violence, and violence is the sign of civilization.

Wait.

I sat, sipping my drink and studying the other women in the room. Women who’d gotten all dolled up on a Friday night for men or for each other but most of all, I chose to believe, for themselves. To feel the weight of your lashes cloaked in black, the pinch of no-stretch denim against your depilated thigh.

And just like that, he set his phone down and turned to me. “Come here often?” he asked.

So we were sharing a script. Indeed, as time would soon tell, in the hours wedged between that predetermined line and our so-to-speak roll in the hay (i.e., sand), little about this man surprised me. But I surprised myself. My hunger for risk. (According to the rules of straight respectability, a first encounter should not end where I took it.) My interest in power. (Was it his or my own limits I wanted to test?) My modest shame. (It clung to me like the sand that stuck to my pubes for days, materializing on clean sheets and the wet shower floor.)

Now I reminded myself to smile.

“Every now and again,” I said.

In fact it was my first time. The place was way too pricey.

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Why I love it

If you, like me, are a spreadsheet nerd, then you know there’s nothing quite as satisfying as organizing your life into a series of delightfully colored little rectangles. I have spreadsheets for my job, spreadsheets for my budget, and even a spreadsheet to track my personal reading. But Mariam Rahmani’s debut novel Liquid takes this passion into territory even I hadn’t yet considered: What if a spreadsheet could also provide solutions for your love life?

Liquid begins with its nameless narrator at a crossroads: Her PhD has not provided the financial stability or career satisfaction she hoped for, and her romantic prospects are even more disheartening. The solution? A master spreadsheet. One hundred dates with wealthy men and women across Los Angeles should lead her straight to the happily-ever-after she dreams of—but as her seemingly perfect plan spins farther out of control, she begins to question what she’s actually looking for from life and from love.

Funny, poignant, and sharp-edged, Liquid is the kind of literary fiction that gets me excited to keep reading. It’s a love story for the modern era, and whether you’re a cynic or a romantic—or simply a fan of spreadsheets—there will definitely be something within its pages for you to enjoy.

Member ratings (42)

March selections
Wild Dark Shore
Our Infinite Fates
Liquid
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March selections
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Wild Dark Shore
Our Infinite Fates
Liquid
Count My Lies
Care and Feeding