She looks beautiful in her wedding dress. It fits her perfectly and is exactly what I’d imagined she’d go for: elegant, understated, and unique—just like her. My heart breaks that her day will never come, but she doesn’t need to know that yet.

I think about the guests who won’t attend, the picture frames with no photographs, the first dance that will be silent, the cake that won’t get eaten, and I feel my resolve weakening. I pull myself up. This is not a time for doubt.

There is still so much work to do, so much more pain to inflict, but I will not be deterred. I failed once before, but this time, I’ll get it right.

There’s too much at stake to get it wrong.