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What We Kept to Ourselves by Nancy Jooyoun Kim

Historical fiction

What We Kept to Ourselves

by Nancy Jooyoun Kim

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Quick take

Follow one Korean-American family moving between ‘70s and ‘90s LA as they grapple with the meaning of home and dreams.

Good to know

  • Illustrated icon, 400

    400+ pages

  • Illustrated icon, Family_Drama

    Family drama

  • Illustrated icon, Nonlinear_Timeline

    Nonlinear timeline

  • Illustrated icon, Immigration

    Immigration

Synopsis

1999: The Kim family is struggling to move on after their mother, Sunny, vanished a year ago. Sixty-one-year-old John Kim feels more isolated from his grown children, Anastasia and Ronald, than ever before. But one evening, their fragile lives are further upended when John finds the body of a stranger in the backyard, carrying a letter to Sunny, leaving the family with more questions than ever about the stranger’s history and possible connections to their mother.

1977: Sunny is pregnant and has just moved to Los Angeles from Korea with her aloof and often-absent husband. America is not turning out the way she had dreamed it to be, and the loneliness and isolation are broken only by a fateful encounter at a bus stop. The unexpected connection spans the decades and echoes into the family’s lives in the present as they uncover devastating secrets that put not only everything they thought they knew about their mother but their very lives at risk.

Both a riveting page-turner and moving family story, What We Kept to Ourselves masterfully explores the consequences of secrets between parents and children, hus­bands and wives. It is the story of one unforgettable family’s search for home when all seems lost, and a powerful meditation on identity, migration, and what it means to dream in America.

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What We Kept to Ourselves

1999

The night he found the body behind the loquat tree in his yard, John had driven home from work like on any other evening, weighed down by the usual worries. These troubles had become so familiar that he never questioned them anymore, and because he never shared them with anyone, they would forever go unchallenged. It was his misery after all.

These days his concerns hinged on the apocalyptic flavor of the moment—Y2K, or the Millennium Bug—like a futuristic disease or a line dance at a wedding. How could John protect his two children from something he didn’t understand? Asteroids and floods, all that biblical stuff, made more sense than technology, this internet, which was spooky, invisible, and everywhere at once.

But they weren’t even children anymore. His daughter Ana was already an adult, a college graduate living in Berkeley—leafy streets crunching underfoot like granola in the fall and dimly lit coffee shops with dogs snoozing at people’s feet—less than four hundred miles away, but much too far in his mind. And his son Ronald had already finished half his senior year in high school.

The house was quiet with them no longer on the phone, vaporized by this thing called email and AOL. After John had spent over a year saving up for the Packard Bell PC tower, all he could hear now from his son’s bedroom were the robotic chirps and static fuzz of the dial-up, an occasional burst of laughter, his fingers chicken-pecking the keys. Their thoughts and feelings now traveled in wires, through air, like ghosts.

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Why I love it

“What was love but a ripeness of unexpected feeling, a rush to dedicate oneself, to kneel at the altar of another’s well-being without losing, but in the process, gaining another self?”

How well do we really know the people we’re closest to? This question is deeply explored in Nancy Jooyoun Kim’s What We Kept to Ourselves, a novel that reads as a gripping mystery enfolded within a family drama.

Here, we meet Sunny and John, an isolated Korean-American couple whose marriage has worn thin in the struggles of immigration and parenthood. When Sunny disappears one winter day, leaving behind her teenaged children, Ronald and Ana, John must grapple with his wife’s betrayal, along with his own culpability in their family’s dissolution.

A year after the disappearance, John stumbles upon a dead, unhoused man in the family’s yard bearing a letter with Sunny’s name on it. This discovery prompts a winding search through time, laced with treachery and moments of unexpected tenderness. As the secrets unfurl, we learn about Sunny’s inner life, teeming with rich ambitions beneath her exterior as a housewife and a mother. We begin to piece together a story that spans continents, unexpectedly stitching together two families longing for connection.

What We Kept to Ourselves is an abiding testament to the power of human empathy, even within hurdles of language, age, and race. It’s a story I won’t forget any time soon.

Member ratings (439)

400+ pages
The Thirteenth Child
Homeseeking
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The Dagger and the Flame
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In Every Mirror She's Black
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Half Sick of Shadows
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In a Book Club Far Away
The Four Winds
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The Prophets
The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
A Rogue of One's Own
Notes on a Silencing
Friends and Strangers
Evicted
The End of October
The Book of Longings
The Great Believers
Yes No Maybe So
Anna K
Not So Pure and Simple
Red, White & Royal Blue
Long Bright River
When the Stars Lead to You
Ninth House
The Water Dancer
The Fountains of Silence
The Goldfinch
Frankly in Love
Permanent Record
This Tender Land
The Reckless Oath We Made
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World
The Gifted School
Free Food for Millionaires
Ask Again, Yes
All the Light We Cannot See
Sky Without Stars
Night Music
Small Fry
One Day in December
Nine Perfect Strangers
The Clockmaker's Daughter
The Great Alone
The Heart’s Invisible Furies
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The Nightingale
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Dead Wake
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400+ pages
View all
The Thirteenth Child
Homeseeking
Most Wonderful
The Courting of Bristol Keats
Pictures of You
PS: I Hate You
The Road of Bones
Bloodguard
Intermezzo
The Dagger and the Flame
The Wild Huntress
The Crimson Crown
Here One Moment
Phantasma
The Pairing
All the Colors of the Dark
The God of the Woods
Same As It Ever Was
The Demon of Unrest
Five Broken Blades
Real Americans
The Reappearance of Rachel Price
Table for Two
The Familiar
A Short Walk Through a Wide World
Just for the Summer
The Wives
A Fate Inked in Blood
The Disappearance of Astrid Bricard
The Fox Wife
The Mayor of Maxwell Street
Ready or Not
Heartless Hunter
The Women
Family Family
Ruthless Vows
Gwen & Art Are Not in Love
The Frozen River
The Future
What We Kept to Ourselves
Wellness
The Fragile Threads of Power
You, Again
The Bookbinder
Happiness Falls
Shark Heart
Love, Theoretically
The Only One Left
The First Ladies
Ink Blood Sister Scribe
Warrior Girl Unearthed
The True Love Experiment
Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?
Yours Truly
Hello Beautiful
I Have Some Questions for You
Clytemnestra
The Last Russian Doll
Someone Else’s Shoes
The Shards
Hell Bent
Age of Vice
A Wilderness of Stars
Babel
The Circus Train
Before I Let Go
Bloodmarked
The Last Party
Foul Lady Fortune
Sign Here
Thistlefoot
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow
The Attic Child
Bronze Drum
The It Girl
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle
The Change
Part of Your World
Lessons in Chemistry
The Good Left Undone
Kaikeyi
True Biz
Pieces of Her
Booth
Peach Blossom Spring
A River Enchanted
Black Cake
Will
Still Life
The Keeper of Night
The Book of Magic
The Lincoln Highway
Apples Never Fall
In Every Mirror She's Black
Damnation Spring
One Last Stop
Half Sick of Shadows
The Girl with Stars in Her Eyes
What Comes After
In a Book Club Far Away
The Four Winds
Black Buck
The City We Became
The Prophets
The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
A Rogue of One's Own
Notes on a Silencing
Friends and Strangers
Evicted
The End of October
The Book of Longings
The Great Believers
Yes No Maybe So
Anna K
Not So Pure and Simple
Red, White & Royal Blue
Long Bright River
When the Stars Lead to You
Ninth House
The Water Dancer
The Fountains of Silence
The Goldfinch
Frankly in Love
Permanent Record
This Tender Land
The Reckless Oath We Made
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World
The Gifted School
Free Food for Millionaires
Ask Again, Yes
All the Light We Cannot See
Sky Without Stars
Night Music
Small Fry
One Day in December
Nine Perfect Strangers
The Clockmaker's Daughter
The Great Alone
The Heart’s Invisible Furies
The Ministry of Utmost Happiness
A Million Junes
The Nightingale
Behold the Dreamers
A Gentleman in Moscow
The Secret History
Dead Wake
Salt to the Sea
& Sons
Palace of Treason